But… I’m telling you anyway. Last night, I dreamt that my sister told me she was going out with my ex-boyfriend. The one I was in love with (on and off) for a decade of my early life. I hit her in the face (reader, I would never do this to my sister if such a situation arose – I would be much cleverer and more vindictive, ha). Then he turned up and told me he had only done it to get to me, as he still loved me. He said he was moving to India for six years to be in Bollywood films,* and he wanted me to go with him. I said I would on one condition – that he marry me immediately to prove he was serious.
So, we did, and my sister cried.** Then we heard that Ben Affleck had died.
Ben Affleck is not, to my knowledge, dead,*** and I have not seen said ex-boyfriend since I was 23 and refusing to get into his car. But still I feel strange today, and it’s nearly lunchtime.
Do you ever have dreams that, however ridiculous, make you feel weird, doom-laden and slightly grubby all day? I seem to have them quite a lot.
* He is Italian, so this is clearly wrong.
** I would like to point out at this juncture that my sister would never, ever do any of this. Quite aside from being lovely, and a Good Sister, she really hated this boyfriend – not in a ‘because-I-secretly-love-you’ Jilly Cooper way, rather because she thought he was extremely unattractive, annoying and, worst of all, ridiculous.
*** And, if he was, I would be very sad.
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